Maggie, you are utterly, fabulously right about this. Perhaps not on the plane back from SXSW, but certainly when I first heard Sandberg's Davos talk, I tried to find a reason to disagree with her. That was my default reaction because she is way richer, prettier and younger than me. Then I stopped myself and realized that I was only supporting an attitude that, only to a degree commensurate with my less obvious success, I have felt directed at me. Ooops!
Sandberg is right to point out, as I understand her thinking, that women will only succeed by "changing the system from within," to quote the sixties and your literate compatriot, Leondard Cohen. It's nice to think that we can make companies more flexible, but they exist for one thing and one thing only: shareholder value.
I have not read her book, but I truly believe that she wants to galvanize women to do a better job helping each other, especially as mentors to other women. Let's "get out of our way" and give her a hand.