It’s the Post-Turkey Apocalypse. My fridge is exploding with left-overs and all I can think about is food.  Soooo…. in honor of my poorly abused stomach, here goes a fun (albeit silly) little bedtime tale.

It’s a spoof related to If You Give A Pig A Pancake. Blame it on the holidays!

If You Give a PR Pro A Pancake…

She won’t take a single bite. She’ll ask if the pancake is special.

Is it gluten-free? Are the blueberries from a one-of-a-kind bush planted in honor of National Blueberry Day? Was it made with a new-to-market spatula? From locally sourced seasonal ingredients?

After all, it’s not just a pancake. It’s a potential NEWS STORY!! An epic digital PR opportunity!

You’ll explain how it’s unique, then she’ll ask to speak to the chef. 

Is there a head shot? A bio? Does he look good on camera? Can he wear an apron emblazoned with the logo?

And when she speaks to the chef, she’ll invite the cameraman along. Because he has a video camera, you know it’ll end up on YouTube anon. Pile of Pancakes

She’ll finally take the first bite, only to swoon in epic delight, then ask for more  budget to spend.

Off goes the  media advisory to the local foodie media, inviting them to join an epic taste-testing event!

Because TV can’t afford to send a camera crew and only one community paper can come, she puts her thinking cap on.

She’ll post the event on local event calendars and Google Plus, inviting consumers to her party. It’s an All-You-Can-Eat Pancake Breakfast benefiting the Swine Flu Prevention Foundation, whooeee!

And because she sent photos with soul and lots of b-roll, local media will cover the news.

She’ll use them to jazz up the newroom online, then pour herself a big glass of wine. Isn’t life grand?!

Elated from the packed house event, she’ll sit down to write a blog post. After all, who wouldn’t want to know how to make these pancakes at home?  It’ll make a great infographic, too.

Not quite done with it all, wine making her feel ten feet tall, she’ll send off a creative pitch or three.

Consumer stories are done but that’s not all the fun, it’s  time for trade and business media to join the melee!

One story becomes five, she’s also on the news live. Her client is very happy!

Work done for the day, she’ll head to the fridge (grabbing a fork on the way), but it’s empty except for the stack of pancakes. She’s been too busy to cook or grocery shop.

She’ll microwave them, take a bite, then ask for syrup. Because the syrup is made from local berries, she’ll ask if she can pitch a story on the farm… Maybe launch a box pancake mix. A PR professional’s work is never done!

Okay. I’m done having fun. Sorry about the occasional rhyme – I just couldn’t resist.

Time to go make pancakes for dinner.